… then why do I read so many management books? Or read management blogs? And take online courses for leadership training?

This is just a paradox for me.

Or maybe it’s not that I don’t like being a manager. Maybe I just don’t like managing people…

… then why do I read so many team building and coaching books? Or read managing people blogs? And take online courses for people management?

Or maybe I just don’t like managing projects…

… then why do I read so many project management books? Or read project execution blogs? And take online courses for project delivery?

It doesn’t make sense, does it?

It seems that it’s not that I don’t like being manager, or managing people, or managing projects. I do like those things.

What I don’t like is failing gloriously at it.

I’ve made some successes, but it’s easy to focus on the negative. That’s human nature.

I should reframe my thinking.

Focus on making a difference. On improving someone’s life. On delivering what I promised.

And I try. But it’s hard coming home feeling emotionally drained. And still not having anything to show for it.

But I’m told that’s what comes with the job. And that sucks.

And that’s why I hate being a manager. But I will continue to try to be a better one.

When I first joined the company I’m currently working, I spoke to the team about the work that they were currently doing.

I told them that much of their work was operational non-value added work. That is work that happens but does not add value. Work like adding rules to the firewall, or adding users to active directory. And that many units thought that they were not adding value to the services being offered.

I said that we needed to start doing more value-added work.

The team left and went about their work.

Many months later in one of my one-on-ones, this thing about non-value added work came up, and the team thought that I meant that they were not valued or that the work they were doing was not valuable.

I was taken aback.

One, that they equated value-added with being valued.

And two, that this came up so long afterwards, meaning that the team sat and ruminated on this for a long time.

I had to explain that this had nothing to do with them not being valued, but that the work they were doing was mainly transactional.

Value-added work, on the other hand, would have a multiplier effect on the effort.

For example, instead of creating shares for every user who requests it, create a shared folder accessible to everyone and show people how to create folders and specify permissions. Instead of unlocking and resetting passwords, use software to allow self-service unlocks and resets.

The work you’ve expended creates far more value to users and also frees up your time. You will be creating fewer shares, and unlocking fewer accounts.

To this day some members of my team bristle at the term value-added. But hopefully, the majority of the team gets it.

They’re still doing much non-value added work, but I’m starting to see some sprouts of value-added ones coming about.

I remain optimistic.

I hate to give bad news.

I’m not alone in this. People, in general, do not like to give or receive bad news. This is due to the negative (or negativity) bias, which is our brain’s built-in response that tends to give negative events more weight than positive ones.

So people feel it more when the lose $5 than when they gain $5. It also explains why when given feedback on things, we tend to focus on the negative aspects even when there was a ton of positive feedback in there.

This is an evolutionary thing, and even knowing the existence does not diminish the effect.

One of the effects of this is delaying tasks especially when it involves any negative connotations, like my monthly reports, even if there are positive things to put in there. The negative aspects are enough to make me feel knots in my stomach.

Or what about dealing with poor performance from a team member. Yeah, I’ll get around to dealing with that sometime. Maybe he’ll buck up on his own.

But it’s obvious that these things need to be addressed. And when you have to give bad news, it’s best to just get it done.

Here are some things to try.

1. Prepare for the conversation

Give some thought to what you’re going to say. It’s not about scripting it, but mentally preparing yourself for the situation. Think also not just how the other person may feel and react, but also how you would, and plan for that action as well.

2. Understand the purpose and reframe the situation

Why is it important to give this bad news? You will feel better able to give the news if it is justified with a reason.

And reframe the situation if you could. It’s not that you’re giving them bad news of a delay on a project, but your allowing your boss to either plan for it, or assist in getting it on track.

3. Choose an appropriate method of delivery

If you’re like me, you like to send emails rather than talk in person, especially when it’s bad news. However, this is not suitable for all situations.

"Let’s send a text to your staff member to let them know that they’re being let go." Said no one ever.

Take time to determine what is the best method of delivery and prepare yourself. (see 1.)

4. Don’t procrastinate

Bad news depreciates with time, and by that I mean it gets worse, not better.

Don’t keep putting off delivering the bad news, especially with the hope that somehow it would magically disappear. Remember that you want to give the recipient of the bad news time to also accept and prepare.

Don’t make it worse for others.

5. Offer amends, recommendations or way forward

Think of ways that you can offer amends, or recommendations to reduce the impact, or a way forward to continue. Something that may lessen the blow.

For example, if you’re going to miss a deadline, suggest ways to get back on track. Or if you can’t deliver something fully, perhaps you can deliver something partially that can suffice for the time being.

6. Prepare for the consequences

One thing I always ask before doing something risky is "what’s the worst that can happen?" And now knowing the worst, accept that’s the worst, and think that if that happens, then what.

Like, if you miss this deadline the project will be late and the company will lose millions. Then you will lose your job and you will be unemployed. So given this then what. Then you find another job, and now you have a story of how you faced adversity and triumphed.

You’ll often find that the worst is not as bad as you make it out to be. Unless you’re in the mafia, then the worst is really bad.

I’ve worked in a few different places — different sizes and sectors — and there is one thing I can say: they’re all basically the same.

Whether is the politics, bureaucracy, bacchanal, bad management, or just shitty people, all organisations have them.

So then what’s the difference between one and the other?

The only difference is scale.

The politics, bureaucracy, bacchanal, bad management and shitty people are all at different levels as the organisation changes.

In small companies, politics and bureaucracy are less than larger organisations. But the bacchanal is far greater; I think it’s because everyone knows each other.

Then, which is better?

For me, I prefer working for smaller companies who want to do great things. But that’s what I like.

If you like systems and processes with rigid structures, then working for a large org may be better for you.

Don’t get tied up in thinking one is better than the other. It all depends on where you can do your best work.

Some people like having the support of a few hundred people around them. Some like to be a big fish in a small pond.

Some like bureaucracy and layers of management. Other like a nice flat structure where you can get things done quickly.

It’s your choice.

But whatever you choose, find happiness where you are.

And always bring value to the people you serve. As Albert Einstein once said:

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.

It’s not the money, fame, or power, that you receive, but the value you provide to the people around you that will make you feel like a real success.