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Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is uncertain.

There’s some confusion as to who said that, but regardless it’s a well-shared quote. Just Google it. And you know something… that’s a lie.

I’ve been trying to build confidence in selling and building my business. I’ve been doing this for 6 years and floundering greatly.

People look at me and see confidence. They see someone who “has it all together” as I was once told. Like a swan on the water looking all graceful, but paddling like heck under the water.

I am not confident.

In fact, over the past few years, I’ve grown even more unconfident. The small failures chipping away at me until I’m simply raw. Or perhaps I’m hitting my mid-life crisis. Either way, I’m not in too good shape confidence wise.

Back to the quote above. There are people who speak for a living and say that every time they are nervous when they have to speak. Some even throw up before. Fear certainly has not died for them.

Let’s face it, that quote is bull. Some people have different fears. Or there is something else they want to achieve that is so great that they are willing to face that fear for.

I know my fear. I fear failure. I fear appearing stupid. I fear being a failure.

But doing thing purposely imperfect or trying to accept my failures as learnings and to change my mindset about failure, has not caused me to fear it less. In fact, lack of successes has caused me to fear failure even more.

And forget about counting successes, regardless of how small. Earning $10 when you need $1000 is no relief.

It seems that that fear has stopped me and I’ve forgotten why I’m doing this again . Or perhaps I’m one of those who is so afraid of heights that I’m willing to get burned to death rather than leaping from a burning building.

The latter feels very apt.

I know it’s the story that I’m telling myself. That I’m simply not good enough to help people. But knowing that it’s a story doesn’t make it less real. Like the stories about La Diablesse or the imaginary guy in the sky.

Overcoming the fear is not as easy as some make it out to be.

Perhaps when I’m against the wall I’ll finally try fighting.