This evening I had a serious scare.
I started to feel light-headed, and my vision started to get dark. I sat down immediately, and when I felt the feeling pass enough, I checked my blood pressure.
It was reading 70/38 with a pulse of 44.
I’m no doctor, but that didn’t look too right.
My wife got me some water with some salt in it, and I laid down with my feet up. We called the doctor and after getting some info, advised me to go to the hospital.
Up to that moment, I was worried, but now I felt really scared.
I generally don’t feel scared of death. I would usually feel far off and an abstract concept. But in this case, it felt like a real possibility.
In my mind, I just worried about what would become of my family. If they would be okay and have I saved enough to take care of them? Will my kids be alright without me, and were they worried (I don’t think they were)?
Otherwise, I just focused on the next step – getting checked out. I will worry afterwards.
Everything checked out fine. The doctor said it might be some new medication that I’ve been taking for some pain. He advised to stop it and monitor for a day to see if things improve.
So disaster averted for now.
I still feel like shit, and a bit worried, but not scared.
But it did give me some pause. I need to ensure that my family will be okay without me. I can’t say for sure that I will be there for them for a long time.