As I get older certain thoughts sometimes find itself into my subconsciousness.
Lately is the thought that I may become irrelevant. That somehow I will lose my ability to create value.
I’m not sure where the thought came from, but I know I was looking through the timeline of LinkedIn. On some of the posts, I wondered to myself if I could still do those things. I’m talking about technical things.
Since I’ve started this new job I haven’t been doing many technical things. I’ve mainly tried to push my team to do those while I provide guidance and help them grow.
But I know that I also have not been keeping up technically.
I was also trying to write a simple Python script yesterday and was making some silly mistakes with the syntax. I’m out of practice.
If this is happening in only a few years, what’s going to happen if this continues for another few years.
And studying anything new now seems like a chore. I don’t know if I can keep it up sometimes. But I know that I have to, so I continue to try.
The fear is still real though. That somehow there’s nothing else but this for me. That options are limited.
As much as I know that this cannot be true, it’s still finding itself in my thoughts.
Need to do something great soon so I don’t let this defeat me.