A few days ago my wife asked me what I planned on doing for my daughter’s birthday.
Huh? Birthday?
I completely forgot about it. Which is not something I usually do. I’ll quicker forget my birthday.
There had been so many things going on with work that it completely slipped me.
And I was taken aback by that.
My job has reached a stage that it has completely consumed me in a way that I am not happy with. Where not just my time, but my very thoughts, are consumed with work.
Even meditation can’t seem to break the grip that the thoughts seem to have on me. All my mindfulness training and practice appear to have been lost.
Deadlines are due. Projects not completed. Performance reviews. Managing people. Outing fires. Lighting fires. Petty politics.
It’s all getting to me.
And I know that all places are the same. That I’m probably acting like some entitled millennial. And that others would kill for this job.
But this can’t be worth it. It can’t be that this is all that there is.
I need to loosen up and escape my mind. Find my freedom again.
I know what I must do. I only need to find the courage.