The internal musings of a disorganised mind.
Wherever you are right now, take a moment to listen to the sounds around you. Listen to the breeze, the traffic, the birds, whatever exists. Now take a moment to listen to the silence; the silence that exist beyond and between the sounds around you. [Read more…]
Wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost
Avicii and Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up”
I almost feel ashamed to admit that I still don’t know what I really want to do with my life. Like when someone asks a 15 or 16 year old what they want to do and scoff if they said they don’t know; what would that someone say to me? [Read more…]
Have you ever wondered what you would be without any limitations? What if you could grow without anyone getting in the way? [Read more…]
I see this life like a swinging vine,
Swing my heart across the line.
And my face is flashing signs,
Seek it out and you shall find.
Old, but I’m not that old,
Young, but I’m not that bold.
I don’t think the world is sold,
I’m just doing what we’re told.
I feel something so right,
Doing the wrong thing.
I feel something so wrong,
Doing the right thing.
I could lie, couldn’t I, could lie.
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep,
Dreaming about the things that we could be.
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars…
We’ll be counting stars.
OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
You ever felt like you’re just not doing what you should? Like there’s a higher purpose, or that there should be more to this? I’ve been feeling like that, feeling that I’ve been living another’s life.
When I was growing up, I wanted to study electronics. I had no intentions of going to university, far more than to study engineering. My mom wanted me to do that (and actually brought in someone to talk ‘sense’ into me). I don’t regret the path that I’ve taken, as it has brought be a good life. And I certainly don’t blame my mom either, as she was doing what any mother would do. Would a young teenager really know how to plan for the future?
But here I am now trying to realign my sights to something else, and more lost now than I was 15+ years ago.
I have no answers or advice to give, only questions. And the more I think of answers to those questions, to more questions come up, like a hydra.
I’m in a rut. I’ve been in a rut for a few years. Wondering what I should be doing with my life and what I want to actually be doing. I feel like a child being asked what I want to be when I grow up, and I answer, “I don’t know”. [Read more…]